Whatif we be still?

 

Whatif by Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow tall?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then

The nighttime Whatifs strike again!

 

 

     These are the thoughts that kept me from being all of me. These lies weigh heavy.  Overcoming this has been the single greatest thing to happen in my life. The silent prayer allows God to move me. As my faith grows, I literally begin to let "Jesus take the wheel." Please, please, take the time to be still and just watch those lies. They flash in and out, they whisper, they sound like you. Don't judge them, just see them and they will fly away as quickly as they entered. Don't judge yourself for them, they are not you. With patience and persistence sin has no hold on you anymore. It is absolutely 100% possible to be born again.      Every single saying that I have ever thought was Cliche' is absolutely 100% Truth.  I see the world with new eyes now. I had hoped you would have waited for me to come out of the other end, but I realize you didn't know when or how this would happen. I didn't either. I knew that I was going to face letting go of a lot of things that I held dear in my life, but I never thought it'd be you. Despite what you may think, (and know that thoughts are lies) I have only ever wanted you to be happy. I've seen the pain in you since we were in school. I love you, with all of my heart. I have always wanted to be something to you that you really had never wanted, but I thought, (thoughts lie) that you needed.

     Looking at this with new eyes really shows the selfishness that I was taking part in. I wanted to be wanted. I thought (thoughts lie) that it would make me feel more complete. Looking outside of myself has never added to my Self. Only going in with God has given me what I've been looking for all of my life.

     I thank God that I've been given these hard lessons no matter how long it's taking me to learn them. I still have a lot of good years left in me, and I will be everything that God needs me to be. There is only one God, Laurie, and I'm sorry if the way I was saying things made you think (thoughts are lies) that I believed otherwise. Christ is in me, I have accepted this path with a knowing I have never had in my life. I know that I will be looked at differently now, and I can't wait to go through the rest of this life with Christ. My "reincarnation" happened very recently. I've been raised from the dead to walk in the newness of Life. I know I still have a lot of work to do, Satan doesn't stop trying to tempt me back, but I resist. Satan can never make anyone do anything, only gives temptations. God gave us free will to choose. 

    When we are still, when we let those thoughts race away, in and out, they eventually stop. Sometimes in a few minutes, seconds, hours, sometimes you'll think (thoughts lie) they won't go anywhere. Be still and know that God is in you and when those thoughts stop lying to you, there is God. God doesn't speak, He reveals. It has literally changed my life, praise God!  

    I have been so selfish all of my life, I was listening to the lying thoughts in my mind, so chaotic, so loud, so messy, so disorganized, so evil, so selfish, so prideful, so envious, so jealous... They are not me! They never were, I was living in sin, the lying thoughts. I blame no one, I thank God that I have been allowed to overcome this paralyzing force.

     Letting go of resentment, fear, anger, jealousy, begins with forgiveness, we must forgive as God has forgiven us. It is the key to freedom. Forgive everyone in your life, they have been tempted by Satan just as you have. Everyone has their own path, some will go to the grave denying Christ. Even ones who believe they are following. 

    I wish peace and happiness upon you for the rest of your life here. Peace and happiness are not found outside of us. When we love our enemy as ourselves we find a peace and happiness that only God can give. 

     It's real. Praise God!

 

 

 

I love you, 

 

 

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